Only by Grace

I visited a friend who is undergoing radiation for brain tumour. I was deeply moved by her situation, but reminded that it is only by God's grace that I am here today. My heartfelt prayer to all those suffering from incurable diseases is: that they will find God's grace and help in time of need.

Ephesians 2: 6 - 10

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith— and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. 

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Moving on

It is only by the grace of God that I am here today and alive to tell my own story. Three months on, the Lord has restored to me good health. My energy level is up and I am starting to get active again. I am now trying to rebuild my life. Thankfully, I have the Lord on my side and together we will be rebuilding.

Thank you all who have been supporting me through all these. I pray for all of you still going through sickness and diseases, that the Lord will heal you and restore back your health. I pray that the Lord will give you peace.

Isaiah 54:
¹⁰ Though the mountains be shaken
   and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
   nor my covenant of peace be removed,
   says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

 ¹¹ Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
   I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
   your foundations with lapis lazuli.

¹² I will make your battlements of rubies,
   your gates of sparkling jewels,
   and all your walls of precious stones.

¹³ All your children will be taught by the LORD,
   and great will be their peace.

¹⁴ In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
   you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
   it will not come near you.

¹⁵ If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
   whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

 ¹⁶ See, it is I who created the blacksmith
   who fans the coals into flame
   and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;

 ¹⁷ no weapon forged against you will prevail,
   and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
   and this is their vindication from me,
            declares the LORD.

Two months later

But now the LORD my God has given me rest on every side; there is neither adversary nor evil occurrence. 1 Kings 5:4

The good news is that two months after plasmapheresis, my blood test showed everything as normal again and my medications have been reduced. I am feeling much better and improving physically daily. This is such joy.

A dear friend of mine, Gigi, was relived from her suffering and sadly passed away a week ago. She battled with colon cancer for a few years but has now gone to join the angels. She was such a special person and would be remembered lovingly by many. It was better for her to depart and to be with the Lord just as Paul said in the Bible (Philippians 1:23). My deepest sympathy goes out to her family. She will be missed.

Psalm 124, A song of David

 ¹ “If it had not been the LORD who was on our side,”
         Let Israel now say—
 ² “If it had not been the LORD who was on our side,
         When men rose up against us,
 ³ Then they would have swallowed us alive,
         When their wrath was kindled against us;
 ⁴ Then the waters would have overwhelmed us,
         The stream would have gone over our soul;
 ⁵ Then the swollen waters
         Would have gone over our soul.”    
 ⁶ Blessed be the LORD,
         Who has not given us as prey to their teeth.
 ⁷ Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers;
         The snare is broken, and we have escaped.
 ⁸ Our help is in the name of the LORD,
         Who made heaven and earth.

Fearing no evil

Six weeks after leaving the hospital, I am so much better. Restoration has been progressive with new accomplishments each day. I was able to walk leisurely for two hours, shopping, without needing to sit every two minutes. I can now walk up and down stairs with ease without being short of breath. I have no inflammation, no pain, no rash, and I am coping with the sun better. I am also slowly reducing my medications. What a journey. However, there is always that lingering fear of "going through it all again".

To overcome this fear, I have to remind myself daily that:
  "Never again will I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
    For the Lord is with me,
    His rod and His staff, they comfort me"  Adapted from Psalm 23:4

To my network of friends and family, thank you for your support. You make me who I am. To all of you going through sickness or disease, I pray that your healing and recovery will be speedy.

A tapestry of the journey

Part 1: In the beginning
The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
   He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
   He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.  Psalm 23: 1 -3

Part 2: The dark days
Even though I walk
   through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.  Psalm 23:4

Part 3: The healing
You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows. Psalm 23:5

Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
   Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
   The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard. Isaiah 54:14

Part 4: Restoration
Restore us, LORD God Almighty;
   make your face shine on us,
   that we may be saved. Psalm 80: 19

Let their flesh be renewed like a child’s;
   let them be restored as in the days of their youth’—
then that person can pray to God and find favor with him,
   they will see God’s face and shout for joy;
   he will restore them to full well-being. Job 33:25-26

Part 5: And
Surely your goodness and mercy will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever. Psalm 23:6

A joyful attitude

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior. Titus 3:4-6

To experience the kindness and love of God demonstrated through people is amazing. The things people did and are still doing for me and my family literally melted my heart. In the past I have wondered about the causes or sources of my illness, but in the grand scheme of things, causes and sources are not relevant. However, I have since decided that the whole experience is not about the illness but the journey through it. Having a joyful attitude even when the going is tough and having the ability to fully experience and appreciate God's blessings without remorse is very important. I am continually grateful for all what I have and have been given, and also for all the positive experiences despite the circumstances. This has helped me remain joyful and is constantly giving me the ability to experience more and more of God's mercy.

Acts 20:24
But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

Psalm 89:14-16
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne;
Mercy and truth go before Your face.
Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound!
They walk, O LORD, in the light of Your countenance.
In Your name they rejoice all day long,
And in Your righteousness they are exalted.

Sustainable Healing

Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Isaiah 54:14

Coming out of hospital with a diagnosis of Lupus cross over dermatomyositis/polymyositis meant a whole lot of medications. In addition to these, there are also weekly physiotherapy visits. The medications only keep the chemical balance in the body but some can introduce new side effects. Some side effects can be temporary while others can be permanent. In the short term, medications and therapies are good because they keep the body functioning. They give the body strength by creating an illusion of healing. This strength is important and much needed by the spirit and the mind. It allows the body time to get back to a state where true healing can start to take place. Healing and health does NOT stop there! The body can only be in a true state of health with healing, when one can safely stay healthy if all medications and therapies are taken away and the body is still in a state of chemical balance. This is what I call 'sustainable healing'.

I have to put my copyright on the term 'sustainable healing and health'. It is a term I haven't heard from anywhere but my revelation of what I need. Sustainable healing is healing and health for the body from the inside out. It is a state where the body heals itself and stays healthy not relying on external therapies or medications. It is a state where the body balances its own chemistry. Sustainable healing is what Jesus gives.


Jeremiah 33:6
Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.

Malachi 4:2
But to you who fear My name the Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in His wings; and you shall go out and grow fat like stall-fed calves.

Acts 10:38
How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.